I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
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