you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
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