We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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