and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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