Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Randomize
