Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
