Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
