very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
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