it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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