I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
My breasts were aching with rage.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
