the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
