belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
