I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
