So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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