She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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