where am i from again
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
