only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
