She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
