I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
