I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Randomize