Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
she smelled like a LAN party
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
that is very illegal...i love you.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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