Who wears a wallet chain?!
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
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