If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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