it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Just high enough for therapy.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
