We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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