you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
