why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Vodka?
Forever.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Randomize
