Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
In America we eat man semen.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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