The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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