I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
