ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
