it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
