I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
