I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
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