New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
