And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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