i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
