High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
