YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
