i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Randomize
