So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Houston, we have a squirter
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
