who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
