Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
