Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
