That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
