spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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