I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
