watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
