i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
