Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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