D3 body, D1 cock
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
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