its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
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