I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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