I can text with my tongue
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize