bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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