Whatcha textin bout Willis?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
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