We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
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