Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
