He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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