Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
